So, THAT is what you think of ME?! ((and a 2019 Goals Check Up))

BULLIED?

I was bullied. Odds are anyone reading this has been bullied. 

Yet, it didn't break me. (Did it break you? I hope not!) 

What it did was toughen me up. It takes a lot of pressure to make a diamond, right? 

I know there were days I felt isolated and alone. 

Certainly, that little "note" that kids passed around, autographed, then promptly handed to me that said, "Michelle is a BiT*#" didn't make my middle school years grand. 

Oddly enough, I didn't cry when I read those signatures below that statement. 

I thought, "You think I am one? Ok, I'll show you." 

I marched up to my teacher and told her I was leaving to go see the principal. It was very unlike me to do anything like that. I was typically one to ask for permission. I was not one to TELL an adult what I was doing. 

I marched into Mr. H.D. Goldner's office without an appointment and showed it to him without a tear in my eye. After all, would a "B" cry over such things? 

He was so kind to me. He said I was strong and proud of me for bringing it to his attention. He made sure that each kid was spoken to, their parents were contacted, and they were to leave me alone. Which they did. 

A few of them (over time) became friends of mine in high school. In a school that small if you held a grudge forever that really limited your friend group! ha! 

I am not even sure I told my mom about it at the time. I just handled it. 

Yes, I did cry alone over it, but never in public. It made me stronger and showed me that I can stand up for myself. 

Fast forward to now. 

What is up with people these days? 

Why are people so quick to instantly plot revenge with weapons or homemade bombs? 

Why are people so quick to end their lives? 

Why are people, dare I say, kinda "soft" when it comes to these things? 

I see less and less young people standing up for themselves or reaching out for help from a trusted adult when they can't fully stand on their own. 

TO BE HONEST: I am not trying to endorse bullies. 

What they do should not be glorified or honored, but why not use their actions as a chance to learn resilience and inner-strength?

I am not going to lie to you and pretend I never had horrible thoughts about easy ways out of horrible situations like I listed above. I just know that something snapped within me that day when I read the note from my classmates. It's like I suddenly felt empowered and strong. 

I know this doesn't just apply to my life. 

Think of people like Stefani Germanotta. You may know her as Lady Gaga. She was bullied horribly throughout childhood and into college. While she was in college, there was a private facebook group created that went by the name of 'Stefani Germanotta, you’ll never be famous.' 

Wow. How wrong her haters were. 

She took all those negative words and thoughts, poured them into her career, and became one of the most-honored artists of our time. Stefani (Gaga) has gone on to also create the Born this Way Foundation to combat bullying and negativity by promoting kindness. 

"Kindness is foundation to everything we do."

Her words are powerful. Yet, will her good deeds eliminate all bullies? Probably not. Yet, we can learn from her (and maybe even from me) that being picked on isn't the end of the world. We can bounce back stronger and learn how to be our best selves. 

We are not defined by what others think of us. It's how WE view ourselves that matters most. 

And, most of all, I think how WE view ourselves greatly improves when WE see that we have a purpose. The moment we realize we were made for a reason, THAT is when the harmful words from those who find joy in tearing down others have little to no impact upon us. 

For too long in my life, I was able to put up walls and build a strong fortress with each incident of bullying I faced. However, on the inside (that part of me that I didn't show to others often) I was deeply hurt. Something finally clicked for me during my adult life, when I really took Jeremiah 29:11 to heart. 

I know that God put me here for a reason. I know he has incredible plans for me, many of which I have been able to accomplish and I am excited for what is yet to come! I know that his plans are never to harm me, but to give me a future. 

What a joyful thought that is! To know that we all have unique gifts and a purpose, and that God is FOR US - NOT AGAINST US is incredibly powerful. It helps guide me and keeps me thinking, "This may be tough. The 'haters' may still be out there. BUT God isn't going to let me down. He is making me stronger day by day." 

Because, like I said, it takes a LOT of pressure to make a diamond! 

2019 GOALS CHECK UP

#1. Drink more water. Some days are better than others!  
#2. Continue to do daily devotionals and prayers with my daughter. We aren't perfect and may miss a day here and there, but we always catch up! 
#3. Floss at least 3 times a week. Uh oh! So I was really good at this for about two or three weeks, time to get back on it again! 
#4. This blog -- quit neglecting it! Here I am today working on it! 
#5. My photography -- create new content at least twice a month. YEAH, I have done a good job at this! 
#6. Send a messages electronically or via snail mail to loved ones to let them know they are valued. I don't know how well I have done at this. I think at times I do it without even taking notice, but I could be more pro-active! 
#7. Practice more prayer and meditation to quiet my mind before bedtime. Oh, this needs work! 
#8. Continue to stash $ in savings and apply extra $ towards the principal on my house loan monthly. Still doing this, but could be doing even MORE. 
#9. Don't miss church. Now that we are doing Church Online via Life Church, we haven't missed a week since the last weekend of December 2018! 


THANK YOU FOR DROPPING BY THE BLOG TODAY! 
~ Michelle of MK Designs Photography

Where am I heading in 2016? (I hope you join me!)

In 2015, you learned about my "agenda" and goals for the year. I had 11 very specific targets to hit. In the end, I was able to make nearly all of them a reality. I am very happy with the overall results. 

2016 will have a different twist on this concept. 

As the quote above states: "I want to become a woman who overcomes obstacles by tackling them in faith instead of tiptoeing around them in fear."

That quote is my mantra for 2016. 

At least once a month, if not more, my goal is to face the following obstacles with faith and not fear. 

Cooking

Watching

Reading

Finishing

Uplifting

Expanding

Cooking. I have been fearful of it my whole life it seems (especially my married life). I want to get better at creating meals for myself and my family instead of depending upon others or restaurants so much. 

Watching. Well, it's high time I watch more than my phone screen or camera's viewfinder. I have access to so many great shows and movies. I need to expand my horizons without fear. So what if I end up not liking it? At least I tried! 

Reading. My reading of actual books has declined big time over the years. I need to get myself out there and focus more on books. I need to faithfully make the time to make this happen. 

Finishing. Oh my goodness, I have too many projects I have put to the side. Often, I end up doing so because I am fearful of how they are shaping (or not shaping) up. 2016 is a year to correct that!

Uplifting. In 2015 several of my goals were directed towards myself. In 2016, I want to faithfully take the time to uplift others on a regular basis. 

Expanding. I really feel based upon some of the things I choose to do (without fear, but in faith) that I will find a way to expand my mindset and knowledge of the world around me. 

I have already made a start on this for January. 

Cooking. For the first time in my life, I made a homemade stew! Soups I have been ok at, but now I can add stew to my list. 

Cooking, Watching, and Expanding...hey, I had never tried veggie/fruit juice!

Watching. Thanks to Facebook, I saw this article "23 Best Movies On Netflix You Haven't Seen Yet." I decided to try a movie from it. "The Kids Are All Right" was an interesting movie and I am pretty glad I gave it a chance. If you're homophobic (I am not) or hate "foul language" (again, I can face it), you won't be able to handle this film. However, I found it charming, enlightening, and brutally honest. There are many points in the film that touched my heart. This part for instance:

"I need to say something. Um, it's no big secret your mom and I are in hell right now, and, uh... Bottom line is, marriage is hard. It's really hard. Just... just two people slogging through the shit, year after year, getting older, changing. It's a marathon, okay? So, sometimes, you know, you're... you're together so long, that you just... You stop seeing the other person. You just see weird projections of your own junk. Um, instead of talking to each other, you go off the rails and act grubby and make stupid choices, which is what I did, and I feel sick about it because I love you guys, and I love your mom, and that's the truth. Sometimes you hurt the ones you love the most. I don't know why. I... You know, if I read more Russian novels, then... Anyway, I just wanted to say how sorry I am for what I did. I hope you'll forgive me eventually. Thank you."

Reading. This book (pictured above) is a must-read for anyone in education or who is the parent of a high-functioning autistic child. I picked it up fearful of what I would read, but now I am reaching a better understanding of how individuals with high-functioning autism work. It has been very eye-opening. I am thankful for it.

Finishing. I started this Mardi Gras mosaic years ago, and put it down. I was so fearful of where it was headed. I found it, added some black paint, and am back to letting the beads and glue come together. Hopefully, when it is finished I can find a home for it or an art show to display it in. I am going to stop being afraid of how it comes out and have faith... well, have faith it won't totally suck. :-)

Uplifting. I am currently working my tush off to get all my ducks in a row to nominate a current student for the Missouri Journalism Student of the Year, as well as nominate my Principal for Missouri Administrator of the Year through the state Journalism group I am involved in. Both are so deserving and I am excited to be the one to get the ball rolling. It's time to see other people recognized for their efforts. I hope they know that in my heart they are amazing people who put Scholastic Journalism first whenever possible. 

Expanding. I found myself at Casey's General Store eyeing the juice on the first Sunday of 2016. Feeling under the weather somehow didn't phase my idea of trying to "expand" upon my experiences in life. I picked up a fruit/veggie juice blend. Guess what? I didn't hate it. It was totally worth trying! Add that into my expanded understanding of all the time that goes into mosaics and how to best help kids with high-functioning autism... well, I feel pretty ok about this area. 

So, what will future blog posts reveal about this new "mantra" and focus for 2016? Only time will tell, and I am excited to see how it goes. Do you have any suggestions for what to attempt to cook next, read, watch, etc? Feel free to comment on my MK Designs facebook page, or right here on the blog. 

Until next time, 

~ M of MK Designs