Kill the Apps & Do NOT Force It!

KILL THE APPS!

A little over a week ago, I had nearly three full pages of apps (some housed within folders) on my iPhone. I am now down to a page and 1/2 of apps... and many of those folders are cut nearly in half of their contents. 

As I have pulled more and more apps off my iPhone, I have found it has made me more focused on:
1. using it to create task lists for work (and get those tasks done!)
2. as well as focus more on what really matters within the confines of that little device: communication with ones I care for
3. research for work and a state office I hold for scholastic journalism
4. inspiration for my own photography and actually getting more done with my own photography instead of just "thinking about it" 

It's also helped me take a step back and realize this is more important than ever... 

DO NOT FORCE IT! aka IF YOU BUILD IT, THEY WILL COME. 

Over the years I have heard over and over how much "work" a relationship is. And, that's for any relationship: family, lover, spouse, friend, etc. 

However, I just don't buy it anymore. Yes, relationships require work in that you may have to drop everything (not because you're forced to but because you want to) in order to try to comfort a friend. However, it shouldn't be this sense of "obligation" or a "chore." 

1992 Senior Prom. My friend Emily Rose. Met the first day of Freshman Year of HS. Have we always been in constant touch? No. We have had our years and months on hiatus, but that's ok. I would like to hope she knows by now I am here. Always. And, I know by now she has my back as well. We don't have to always be in each other's business to know we are friends. This beautiful person, my friend Emily, has one of the biggest hearts and I just love her laugh. Nothing "forced" - we just let it happen. And, sometimes it doesn't happen... and that's ok. :-)

One thing I have figured out in the past few months is this: if anyone (family, loves, friends, etc.) thinks being around me is a "chore" - then don't bother. Yeah, I guess I am finally "saying it" - you don't have to like me. I am not everyone's cup of tea (or shot of whiskey) and that is ok. 

Me. Today. 2014. Rained on & a little tired, but content! 

For too long I made the mistake of staying in relationships (of all kinds) that weren't working...trying to force things into place. (maybe you have been guilty of that, too?) I have finally learned, that just like eating too much fast food, that kind of life is not healthy for any party involved. 

It's perfectly ok to take a break, and pick back up (or not!) in a few months or years if a relationship is a "chore" or "forced" to the point of discomfort. Forcing the issue or trying to chase down a "relationship" only makes matters tense to the point of ugliness. I have seen enough of that in my lifetime. I'm ready for some beauty. 

This weekend was beauty. 

If you do what you love, the right people come into your life.

If you love yourself, others often love you more. 

This was my first full "free" weekend since Labor Day... and every day there was a special person involved that contacted me for my time.

"I do not want to take long walks in the rain." Well, looks like I did! (photo thanks to Slava!)

Leslie invited me to dinner Friday with her daughter and her daughter's boyfriend. All her plan. Miller's Grill. Yum! :-)

Kris - for months has plotted out this weekend getaway. She came up to visit Saturday to Sunday morning. She said she didn't care what we did, just that she wanted to be with me. ((honored)) We did so much around downtown Washington and beyond...AND we were able to fit in a quick visit with my parents too! #Blessed 

Sunday afternoon, my friend Slava (http://www.slavabowman.com) and I finally redeemed the tickets she bought us this summer for the new Photography Museum in St. Louis... and found a stellar place to eat! She invited me to do this in the summer! 

International Photography Hall of Fame and Museum http://www.iphf.org

The Fountain on Locust! WOW! http://www.fountainonlocust.com/

Every person I saw and spent time with this weekend initiated that contact. Wanted my time. Sought my friendship and company. THAT feels so good. 

If you find yourself in a situation where you are the one ALWAYS making the contact, ALWAYS forcing the time together to happen... STOP. Re-eval the situation. Is spending that much energy on people who aren't interested really worth it? In some cases, yes - in most... I dare say... no. Free up your time for the people who actually do want you in their lives and share commonalities with you. Open yourself up to new experiences and people. It's ok. 

Reluctant selfies (KRIS!), Bob Dotson loves me & my kids/students on twitter, raindrops on a Sunday morning, my mantra for my spare time, a new project I will encounter soon thanks to the Painted Home http://thepaintedhomes.com, and cozy quilts (thank you, mom). 

Remember... we are only here for so long. Nothing is promised here as far as how long we get to be on Planet Earth. Enjoy it. Don't waste precious energy on negativity 24/7 and embrace the beauty around you. 

Again, "I do not want long walks in the rain." Well, ended up I did want them because we had a blast. 

Much love and well wishes...
Until next time, 
M of MK Designs
November 2014 

Summer 2014 Blogger Challenge #27: A View(s) From Today...

Must admit the "energy" of my 20's is long gone. 40 is a bit of a sucker punch! Now that my "day job" is rolling, I feel so tired... so some stuff (like this blog) have been a bit neglected. 

Today I got up and the first "view" of the day was figuring out what three images I wanted to submit to Soulard Art Market for consideration into their next juried show... "Nourish" which is art inspired by poetry.  

For more information about this great St. Louis gallery here's their site: http://soulardartmarket.org

These are my three, based on three very different poems. 

"Solitude" - "The Sun Never Says" - "Sonnet 40"

Then it was off to get Slava, my friend, from Re-Discover Washington http://rediscoverwashington.org and Slava Bowman Photography http://www.slavabowman.com for our "day" together! 

First off, it was lunch at Blue Duck. Slava admitted she hadn't ate there in about a week. I had to ask her if she was having symptoms of withdrawls (like an addict would) because she seems to be a Blue Duck addict. I have to admit, any time I have ate there - it has NOT been a let down! (The Blue Duck is located right off Front Street in Washington, Mo... great views and food!)

Then, it was off to St. Louis to see the International Photography Museum (Slava got us Groupon deals)... and then... we arrived to realize it is closed for Labor Day weekend. Since we already paid for parking, we decided to walk around the St. Louis University campus and check out a coffee shop that Slava loves. 

Afterwards, we found ourselves driving around Forest Park in St. Louis. Since we actually found a parking spot, we decided to watch the clouds on Art Hill.

Here's the deal, the day didn't go "as planned" but that's ok. 

I am very blessed to have met Slava, and formed a friendship with her. 

What are the odds an awesome lady from Bulgaria would end up in the town I teach in and we'd end up striking up a friendship over the fact I really was envious of her skills with a camera? Yes, I was once jealous, but now I find that her photography and positive outlook on life inspires me. 

I am also blessed to be one of those people that she will let her guard down with... because, believe it or not, as outgoing as she seems - she is (like me) not someone who lets just anyone "in" - at least that's my impression of her. :-)

I love our talks, because they never feel like idle chat or, as she says, talks about "shopping, kids, and houses..." We get to talk about our thoughts on many things, and without judgment. Which is awesome in this day and age... it seems more and more people are becoming less and less open in their thoughts. 

This is my beautiful friend, Slava, in her "crazy cat lady" dress. I love it! Newsprint with all "cat headlines" and photos! 

Oh, and, since the Photo Museum was closed for the holiday, we get to try this trip again later this fall; a blessing in disguise! 

Thanks for stopping by, and have a wonderful "end of summer" - which reminds me, I am so close to having my summer blog challenge DONE, I need to wrap it up before it's WINTER! 

MK Designs. August 2014.

She Got a Hair CUT! (chop?)

The K of MK Designs is my ((gulp)) recently-turned-nine-year-old daughter. She's been fighting my desire for her to keep long hair ever since her donation to Locks of Love a few years ago. Now, she's won. It is super short. I hate it. She loves it. EVERY person seems to love it. I realized why I dislike it so much. It makes her look so much older. ((sigh))

There she is to the left, barefoot and her lovely long locks...

A bit of a mess, but I loved all those little fly away hair moments...

Playing around at an apple orchard in the fall a few years ago...

Here she is - 8 years old - this past fall on a hike with me and her hair is getting long again...

...but this is her after the moment in May she declared "It is MY hair" and went super short...
how can a hair cut make her look so much older? This momma is
amazed at her beautiful girl, and a bit sad to see her approaching
the double digits... but proud of the young woman she is becoming.

These are my photos and words, do not copy without permission. For details about my work, keep reading my blog or check out my website at http://mkdesignsphoto.weebly.com

June 2014

I like being 40.

Love this. Shared with me online by Tracy.

On Jan 19 I hit the B I G 4 0. Between celebrating with family and friends, the "good times" rolled for nearly 8 full days! One big moment was when I had my "Sweet 16 Slumber Party" with ladies I have met from age 9 forward. I am pretty certain I had every decade of my life represented somehow.

Oh my. As Emily asked, "How much trouble can 10 women get into?"

Let's just say the "beverages" flowed as John Hughes films rolled, and so did a lot of laughter, tears, and cheers... it was an interesting night... 

1. As my friend Kris pointed out, no matter how old we were, what our backgrounds were, or our current circumstances - we are 10 women with good hearts. She said we were all honest, true to ourselves, and for sure had good souls. On that I totally agree. 

2. Molly Ringwald is still my hero.

3. My Sweet 16 was more fun at age 40 than at age 16. I am not kidding. 

4. I like being 40.

At this point, I am going to dive right into that statement.

I. Like. Being. 40.

My broadcast students made me a bday cake, with tech-enhanced candles! ha!  

It was totally unexpected. This was an age I slightly feared. The thought I am close to halfway done with my tour on earth... 

However, now I have arrived at 40 I feel more free than I have in my entire life. 

Yes, I have a job, a child, and responsiblities, but for the first time - I can make "big choices" without having to ask permission or "clear it" with someone else. 

I am sitting in a house that is really a home that I just purchased on my own last spring. I have "Betty" a gas-guzzlin' Ford Escape that I really enjoy that I also was able to get last spring - ON. MY. OWN. :-)

How did the feeling of "freedom" come about? 

I am not sure, but at 40 I feel more "free" to do and be what I want than I did when I was 16, 21, 30...

My mom worked hard to raise a self-sufficient adult, but for so long - I didn't feel like one. 

Some of my friends say it came from my current "single" status... but I am not sure if that is the real reason I feel "free" in many respects. 

I know that being single can be viewed by most women as a "lonely" thing - but I don't feel lonely often. In fact, it's like I thrive off it at times. 

It could have to do with the fact I am ok with being on my own. Even when I was married or in relationships, I could go out on my own to a movie or out to eat. I have traveled on my own, too - big trips for nearly a week by myself boppin' around out west. 

At 40 I feel like my photography is only getting better,
not the mess it was in my teens and 20's. My focus
is more clear. I see things I used to miss.

As an only child, I got used to having to entertain myself. Hobbies, friends, walking in the woods, chats with strangers, etc - all can fill my time. So can watching the clouds float by... and wondering what shapes they most look like...in fact I could watch the sky for hours if the conditions are just right and never feel lonely or bored. 

Doesn't it look like God is trying to say something to us here?

The reality is this: even though I wish that chivalry was still alive at times, that some beautiful (on the inside!) artistic man would show up with a flower to take me out to dinner without any dishonorable hopes except to see me smile... I am ok. I can do what I want, when I want, and feel like I am on track to a pretty awesome next half of my life. 

And, I like being 40. 

I could turn 40 again and again.

Who knew it would be better than Sweet 16?

Thank you EVERYONE who helped me celebrate in person, or in spirit. 

Words and (most) images by Michelle of MK Designs Photography.