Balance? What's THAT!?

2017 was supposed to be the year I got off my a$$ to walk and explore more. Up to the end of August, I was really doing well.

Then, it happened.

Heat and long work hours conspired against my best efforts.

I am hopeful to turn that around sooner than later. I feel more sluggish and less balanced without my time outdoors. 

In other news, I caved and my daughter finally won her hard-fought battle to dye her hair. I have to be honest. I love it. 

I think it's fun to watch her develop her own style. She recently asked me to order her a few shirts (see the picture) from an artist she likes on YouTube. WalkingMelonsAAA is an artist that my daughter really looks up to.

I have found some time to read, though. I find the act to be quite relaxing because I am not reading off a glowing screen. I find PAPER books to be my fave!

I just finished an interesting book titled An Unfinished Marriage. While it's not my typical read, I enjoyed this passage:

"We must be careful not to lose sight of our dreams in favor of the stability of day-to-day life. What's more, we need to hold back a portion of our days for each other, not just meal times."

Granted, I am not married, but this passage really hit home with me because lately I am feeling very unbalanced in my life. Work is dominating my world. I need to not forget my dreams and I must make more time for those I love (daughter, parents, etc.) beyond a quick bite to eat. 

While I know this juggling act is not easily mastered, lately I feel consumed by work. Something has to "give" soon. 

Hopefully the next time I post, I'll have some great "getting off my a$$" photos from a day (or weekend) of exploration!

Until next time, 
M of MK Designs

Dallas: Dreams Come True!

I am a total nerd for Dallas.
Not the football team.
Not the city per say.
More like... the TV SHOW!

TV now isn't what it used to be. I grew up in the age of two to three stations that came in, four if it stormed.  The big networks had our full attention.  Friday night was a BIG tv night because that meant Dallas was on. 

I wanted to be a redhead (aka "ginger" these days) like Victoria Principal. I wanted a ranch. I wanted access to a helicopter pad. I wanted a never-ending tree-lined paved driveway. I wanted to throw someone into the pool. Let's be honest, I wanted to live at Southfork. 

So, as I approach the 42nd year of my life, a buddy of mine kept mentioning I should come see him and his new abode in Texas. As that started to come to fruition, I tossed it out there - I have to go to Southfork. It's only about 30 minutes from his house, so why not?

In October on a Saturday afternoon, my dream came true and I got to spend several hours losing my mind at Southfork Ranch outside of Dallas, Texas. Travis was such a trooper. He's about 10 years younger than me, and not a fan of the show, but he really seemed to appreciate the ranch and my pure joy. 

People talk about "bucket lists" all the time. I used to think it was a great idea, but now I don't. I think we just have to constantly take advantage of opportunities to make our dreams a reality. 

Even if that dream is as simple as walking around a ranch that a popular tv show was filmed at; do it! Don't wait. Make things happen and keep chasing after those great moments. It's so worth it. 

If you like any of these images (even the one of Travis! ha!), feel free to contact me to order a print. 

Until next time, 
~ M of MK Designs Photography
Fall 2015 

PS New link to my website! mkdesignsphoto.com is up! 

Creative Slumps, Dreams, Body Shaming, and Mo State J Teacher... WHAT? :-)

I feel like I have aged a decade in about a four week time frame. My to-do list keeps growing in length and the check marks by items done can't seem to keep up. There's been some personal issues with my daughter I will not discuss here, but one I will - the flu. Yuck. Between work and home, personal and public, and every nook and cranny -- I've felt "spent" and pretty worn out. 

I could use a day or five at a winery or in a tent or just enjoying the company of someone who is low-drama and soothing to the soul. 

The big thing about all this is that my creativity is on zero. Zilch. Nadda. Empty. Gone. Not an ounce. 

I can't seem to get motivated to blog, photograph, edit images, finish a TON of half-done art projects and home DIY creations. Just typing this is taking great effort. 

Sleep. 

I just need sleep, right?

Could that be why more and more of my dreams these days include sleep in them? Even those dreams rated for "Mature Audiences" always involve sleep. When one dreams of sleep, is that a sign they are running on empty? Could be.

And, yes, I do remember my dreams. 

I have had that blessing (and curse) of being able to vividly remember my dreams for pretty much my whole life. I still remember a dream I had over and over as a young child involving my biological father... oversleeping... and I can't get to school because I overslept, too. I wake up, run to the bed he is in and keep shaking him... green comforter on the bed... has this striped/ribbed texture to it... I can still feel it when I think about touching it as I try to shake him awake to take me to school. A very vivid dream indeed. 

Could that be why I set so many alarms and triple and quadruple check them on school nights to this day? I am wired the same way and could easily oversleep and not make it to school... Maybe I am afraid of that dream really happening to me as an adult? Perhaps. Or maybe some psycho-babble would say my alarm obsession is some mental disorder? Who knows?

Despite the situations lately... I can say there's been some amazing moments lately...

I was named the MIPA Missouri State Journalism Teacher of the Year 2015. 

I rarely mix my "day job" with my art/photo blog, but this time I will. Here's a link to the article my school wrote. Very nice and humbling: http://www.sdow-mo.schoolloop.com/cms/news_item?d=x&id=1424591245361&group_id=1323005962663&return_url=1426166047098

Tonight I picked up three images from the Framations Photography Exhibit I was juried into and then hustled to STL, despite a few wrong turns, to celebrate the opening of a show I am juried into (along with my friend Slava! http://www.slavabowman.com) at Soulard Art Market. It's a self-portrait show and this really pushed me out of my comfort zone. Slava is more versed in this. I am not. 

I am not necessarily comfortable in FRONT of the lens, especially if it is full body. I haven't felt comfortable full body in front of cameras since I had my daughter. She'll be 10 in April. I keep thinking I'll do something about that, but I never seem to.  In time I have to either "accept" this is "me" now, or get serious about what I eat and working out. I have tried a few times and at one point lost a LOT of weight, but it was short lived... and of course it all came back (and more). 

In fact last spring when two of the sweetest kids I have ever had in class asked me to pose for a photo with them at Mizzou JDay, and it was FULL BODY - well, I was shocked it came out as one I liked. I actually love this photo and don't feel too embarrased by it at all. 

The funny thing is I don't care if I am out in a swimsuit at the creek or ocean... or any place... until I see photos. It's a bit shocking to me because that's not the "girl" I remember. I am sure I am not the only woman with this issue, but as much as you hear "love your body" it's hard to when the person you envsion yourself as - is not what looks back at you in images. 

I am unsure if men ever deal with this problem or if it's just women, but based on things I know of a few of my male friends... I think some do. I know a perfectly fine young man who will post before and after images of himself since his workout lifestyle has kicked in. I honestly think his before photos look fine. I see nothing wrong with how he was. However, he did... and he did something about it. 

The more I learn about body shaming and the impact it has upon people, it's overwhelming. I am too fat and chunky, he is too skinny, she is too this, he is too that. I hate that we all do it. And, yes I am saying we ALL do it. The people who say they don't are (in my opinion) lying. 

I am not sure what the answer is, but the fact that Kelly Clarkson (who is just adorable!) is being bashed for her weight gain since having her child... it hits really close to home for me. I beat myself enough up as it is about my body since having my daughter, I can't imagine having a public media circus jumping on the "let's tease the chubby girl" train. 

All I know is that number on the scale or on the tag of my clothes didn't keep me from being Missouri Journalism Teacher of the Year. It didn't make me "lazy" by any means. It also didn't keep me from being juried into an art show that started tonight that was based on self-portaits. Maybe it's time to just accept this is what I look like (or try that diet thing again, lol) and get over it.

And, maybe it's time I try to get some sleep so my "creative" mind can start churning again! I do have a full day at the art gallery in the morning, but I don't have to be in New Haven until 11am... so... maybe I can set two alarms and not four. Take that vivid dreams!

Good night, or is it good morning?

~ michelle of MK Designs Photography 2015 

Summer 2014 Blogger Challenge #20... Daydream.

#20. Daydream...

Funny thing about Daydreams, I have them OFTEN.

Most of my life I feel I have spent in several places at once. 

Started at a young age, too. Teachers telling me to focus, when most the time even though my head was elsewhere, I was listening to darn near everything happening in the room. 

Took this image near Lassen National Park in Northern CA. This sums up how I feel often. Just dreaming. Looking out towards the sky. Seeing what is on the horizon. 

My daydreaming REALLY ticked off a HS teacher when I ended up spending most of her class daydreaming, doodling, and napping... then finishing the semester with the highest percentage in the class and getting the "medal" at the awards day. (Sorry, it was SO BORING, and one of the ONLY classes I ever slept in!) 

Note: the medal was really just this goofy little pin for a letterjacket. ;-)

She was so angry, she gave a second medal to the runner up (who is currently my facebook friend, lol) because she "tried harder" than I did. (That's the riot act she read me alone in a room, AFTER the ceremony... letting me know she only awarded me because she "had" to, not because I "deserved" it.)

The thing is, even though I feel like so much of my life has been spent daydreaming, I do not feel it is wasted because OFTEN I am in the present even though I live in this duality and am in two or three places at once in my mind. 

I think it helped my creativity. It helped me set attainable goals. I think many of my daydreams have became reality... and will continue to in the future.  

So the other day, I had a very specific daydream as I walked the Katy Trail near Dutzow clicking pics. 

I took this in Mexico Beach, Florida & edited it in Missouri. It can belong to you, if you want it! Contact me about how to order this image, or any image you see that I have created. 

I thought, "What if I walked all the way to Marthasville... what if I had a backpack on my back with a tent and water and snacks... what if I had people on call along the trail to get me when my legs can go no more..." and the daydream was born. 

I could picture myself a little older (early 50s) and retired walking the Katy Trail as long as my heart, wallet, legs, and desire could take me... with people on high alert to come get me when I could do no more. 

Hermann, Missouri. Photo by me! :-) 

My daydream had me walking from Dutzow to Hermann... over a few days because even though my spirit is willing my chunky body ain't so into it. 

Then, after a break, my daydream took me from Hermann to Portland (Missouri). 

It was a lovely daydream that helped me lose track of the miles and nearly 2 hours I was on the trail in reality. 

Wonder if one day if that daydream will become my reality, or if I'll just be scolded by someone for having it? 

Until next time, 
Michelle

with... MK Designs! Thank you for reading! 

Summer 2014 Blogger Challenge #12, #13, #14: Grateful, Nature, Dream Job.

My fortune cookie said "You will have a long and wealthy life." I have kept that fortune in sight since moving to my house last summer. I love it. It's a beautiful reminder my life is full of "wealth" and I have so much to be grateful for.

#12. Grateful. Family (the ones that actually check on me, etc). Friends (real ones). My daughter. Home. Health (not that I am perfect, but I could be so way worse off). TIME: time to create, to laugh, to lounge, to travel, to learn, to be one-on-one with people or places I adore. Awesome Career. Pets (furbabies). 

Not sure if this pillow would be comfy (burlap!?), but I think it makes a beautiful statement.

#13. Nature. Well! I could go on and on and on. Nature is my nature (get the pun?)! I love it. I know in my heart I need to get in better shape mentally, physically, and financially so I can be in it MORE. 

Photos of "nature" are all over my iPhone camera roll. I can't help myself. Photograph what you love! Well - I love my cats, nature, and my daughter! Funny how your camera roll can totally reveal your heart! 

By the way, I read recently how in Boston doctors are ordering parents to get their kids outside more. Really? I can't imagine. I get my daughter outside so much. It totally puts us both back in a calmer state of mind and helps us connect with God's Creation.

I like this and slightly wish I had this saying on a tshirt or something! What a wonderful mantra to promote! 

#14. Dream Job. I honestly have it. 

I'd like to do more portrait work, but that seems to have moments I am super busy and moments I can hear crickets. 

Portrait work from this past year. Winter 2013 to Spring 2014. I love these images. As you can see, I am a huge fan of WARM LIGHT in portrait work. Yes, I do portraits! Some years I am busy, other years not as much. I have noticed a trend of less and less Seniors getting their Senior Photos done, something I will blog about soon! 

However, let's be honest: I get to teach pretty cool kids awesome subject matter during the school year,  and I take photographs year round... it's pretty awesome. 

THE ONLY THINGS THAT WOULD MAKE THIS A TRUE DREAM JOB: better funding for the equipment the kids need. More supportive parents. Different hours. 

I didn't stutter, different hours. I am beyond NOT a morning person. I tend to perk up anywhere from 9 to 11 in the morning REGARDLESS of what time my rear hits the bed. So, if I had a teaching day that started around 9 or 10 in the morning and ended at 4 or 5 in the afternoon (I stay that late often anyway because that's when I am THINKING and ALERT)... that would be ideal. 

~~~ thank you for taking the time to follow me on this little "blog challenge" this summer. I am almost halfway there. My goal of finishing this by mid to late August may actually HAPPEN!

Please consider liking my photo page on facebook! Also, check out my website for more information about my photography: http://mkdesignsphoto.weebly.com 

July 2014. 

Summer 2014 Blogger Challenge #2: Dreams + Goals

And now, it's time for "Dreams + Goals" in the Blog Challenge 

(Yes, Emily Jane, I just renamed it! lol)

In my humble opinion, dreams and goals go hand-in-hand. In fact, most of my dreams I have been able to make reality (except lunch with Jimmy Buffett and a fun little date with Dave Grohl).

I dreamt of teaching... and combining my love of photography with it. Now I teach photography pretty much all school day. I still have a great passion for teaching television journalism and still am able to do that. That dream came true and continues because of the goals I set for myself and my students. 

I hate hearing people say "if only" or "I wish" - especially for basic things. If you wish you could paint, then take that painting class. If you dream of seeing the ocean, set goals to make it happen. Yes, I think learning new skillsets and seeing new places is "basic" - anyone can make those things happen. I am living proof! 

No need to get in a rut of self-loathing that defeats any chances of making your dreams reality - or making choices that sabotage your dreams. 

Isn't Mark Twain brilliant? I think so, and he's from Missouri so BONUS! This saying by him is a bit of a "motto" for my life. 

Yes, I have dreams and goals that I keep working on that are a bit personal to share on the blog and involve hopes for my daughter... but some... I feel perfectly fine sharing with anyone and everyone! 

I have this dream (and I am setting goals) to travel and really see my own country. I am making steps yearly with this process of getting to really know the lower 48 ;-) WHY? I am always shocked by how many people claim to love 'Merica but haven't even left their own state. Our country is beautiful, vast, diverse, and has some of the most treasured landscapes in the world. I really believe that! 

Nevada Skies! So lovely! Yes, I took this photo! ;-) 

Every summer I find new spots to explore when I am on summer vacation, and some places become "repeat offenders" because I just can't get enough of them. 

I am open and willing to let people give me tips on their favorite spots, too. Thanks to two co-workers Kelly Richard and Ryan Snider, I "discovered" and fell in love with the Shawnee National Forest and vicinity of Southern Illinois. Yes, there's more to that state than Chicago! 

Shawnee National Forest - I have sold several prints of this image,
have had it used by the National Forest Foundation, and  have
been juried into several art shows... crazy thing? There was a lake to
my back that I was originally there to photograph, but it was the
light through the trees that ended up stealing the show! Let me
know if you would like a copy of this... Looks great as a metal
print, full size on paper, or in a square like above. 

The thing is, I feel like to really REALLY explore my country better.... I need about 30 days in my Ford Escape with a teardrop. I love to camp in a tent, too - but a teardrop (remember, these are my goals and dreams!) would help with the elements and any critters that roar or bite that may want to hang out with me.

I have priced teardrops and can feasably afford one now, but am waiting - Yes, I am putting the "dream" off because ideally I would have company on my 20 to 40 day rambles around America in the summer - and right now that isn't possible because of the way my daughter's father and I split custody during the summer months... 

...but I am already prepping her for the fact that in about 11 years or less when she's 18 - 20 and I am in my early 50's, she's got plans. 

So far, at age 9, she seems slightly excited about the big roadtrip(s) I want to take with her... and in time I know that may not work because hearts change, so I am more than prepared to do it on my own if need be. 

I can do "solo" if I have to. How am I sure of this? Well, if I can camp up to 14 days at time in a tent I take down and put up, I think I can do this for double the time (or more). 

My dreams and goals for a nomadic travel adventure are only fueled by this blogger, photographer, writer, adventurer... The Blonde Coyote: http://theblondecoyote.com Reading her blog only adds fuel to the dream that started long before a friend said I needed to check her blog out. 

What are your dreams and goals? What goals are you setting to make your dreams come true? Feel free to comment or share with me! And if you want to take part in the blog challenge, join me! Let's link up! 

MK Designs Photography / Fine Art and Portrait 2014. (Most images and all words by me!)