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Thursday, October 3, 2013

On Claustrophobia, Fear of Commitment, and My Photography...

Did I lose you on the title? I hope not. I've had this huge "moment" where so many things clicked in my brain.

Because I hate HATE feeling like this:
Claustrophobia... that's my fear of having no escape and being closed in small spaces or small rooms. My freak outs due to it have taken place in a small camper bathroom, a haunted house at Lake of the Ozarks, a tour where you climb up to the top of the dome of the old courthouse in St. Louis via a series of ladders and what not sandwiched between the inner and outer dome... and several other locations.

I have realized it's that phobia that leads me to photograph like this:
 drawn to the beauty of the sky... wide, open, and free...
So how does this not only impact my art but my fear of commitment? I am pretty sure my fear of being trapped is one of the reasons why in the past two weeks when I have had two different people ask me where I see "things going" with them... I nearly had a panic attack. 
I am pretty ok with my own place, my own space, my own bank account, not being told what to do or where to be... granted, I'd love someone to spend some time with (on my terms! lol) but the thought of a serious relationship? It's up there with the thought of being sandwiched between the inner and outer dome of the Old Courthouse in St. Louis again. 
Am I the only one like this? I think not. :-)

Photography (except the girl/Welcome Mat image) & Words by MK Designs. Do not reproduce or copy without permission. Oct 2013. Like my facebook page and see my website for more!

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