Kill the Apps & Do NOT Force It!

KILL THE APPS!

A little over a week ago, I had nearly three full pages of apps (some housed within folders) on my iPhone. I am now down to a page and 1/2 of apps... and many of those folders are cut nearly in half of their contents. 

As I have pulled more and more apps off my iPhone, I have found it has made me more focused on:
1. using it to create task lists for work (and get those tasks done!)
2. as well as focus more on what really matters within the confines of that little device: communication with ones I care for
3. research for work and a state office I hold for scholastic journalism
4. inspiration for my own photography and actually getting more done with my own photography instead of just "thinking about it" 

It's also helped me take a step back and realize this is more important than ever... 

DO NOT FORCE IT! aka IF YOU BUILD IT, THEY WILL COME. 

Over the years I have heard over and over how much "work" a relationship is. And, that's for any relationship: family, lover, spouse, friend, etc. 

However, I just don't buy it anymore. Yes, relationships require work in that you may have to drop everything (not because you're forced to but because you want to) in order to try to comfort a friend. However, it shouldn't be this sense of "obligation" or a "chore." 

1992 Senior Prom. My friend Emily Rose. Met the first day of Freshman Year of HS. Have we always been in constant touch? No. We have had our years and months on hiatus, but that's ok. I would like to hope she knows by now I am here. Always. And, I know by now she has my back as well. We don't have to always be in each other's business to know we are friends. This beautiful person, my friend Emily, has one of the biggest hearts and I just love her laugh. Nothing "forced" - we just let it happen. And, sometimes it doesn't happen... and that's ok. :-)

One thing I have figured out in the past few months is this: if anyone (family, loves, friends, etc.) thinks being around me is a "chore" - then don't bother. Yeah, I guess I am finally "saying it" - you don't have to like me. I am not everyone's cup of tea (or shot of whiskey) and that is ok. 

Me. Today. 2014. Rained on & a little tired, but content! 

For too long I made the mistake of staying in relationships (of all kinds) that weren't working...trying to force things into place. (maybe you have been guilty of that, too?) I have finally learned, that just like eating too much fast food, that kind of life is not healthy for any party involved. 

It's perfectly ok to take a break, and pick back up (or not!) in a few months or years if a relationship is a "chore" or "forced" to the point of discomfort. Forcing the issue or trying to chase down a "relationship" only makes matters tense to the point of ugliness. I have seen enough of that in my lifetime. I'm ready for some beauty. 

This weekend was beauty. 

If you do what you love, the right people come into your life.

If you love yourself, others often love you more. 

This was my first full "free" weekend since Labor Day... and every day there was a special person involved that contacted me for my time.

"I do not want to take long walks in the rain." Well, looks like I did! (photo thanks to Slava!)

Leslie invited me to dinner Friday with her daughter and her daughter's boyfriend. All her plan. Miller's Grill. Yum! :-)

Kris - for months has plotted out this weekend getaway. She came up to visit Saturday to Sunday morning. She said she didn't care what we did, just that she wanted to be with me. ((honored)) We did so much around downtown Washington and beyond...AND we were able to fit in a quick visit with my parents too! #Blessed 

Sunday afternoon, my friend Slava (http://www.slavabowman.com) and I finally redeemed the tickets she bought us this summer for the new Photography Museum in St. Louis... and found a stellar place to eat! She invited me to do this in the summer! 

International Photography Hall of Fame and Museum http://www.iphf.org

The Fountain on Locust! WOW! http://www.fountainonlocust.com/

Every person I saw and spent time with this weekend initiated that contact. Wanted my time. Sought my friendship and company. THAT feels so good. 

If you find yourself in a situation where you are the one ALWAYS making the contact, ALWAYS forcing the time together to happen... STOP. Re-eval the situation. Is spending that much energy on people who aren't interested really worth it? In some cases, yes - in most... I dare say... no. Free up your time for the people who actually do want you in their lives and share commonalities with you. Open yourself up to new experiences and people. It's ok. 

Reluctant selfies (KRIS!), Bob Dotson loves me & my kids/students on twitter, raindrops on a Sunday morning, my mantra for my spare time, a new project I will encounter soon thanks to the Painted Home http://thepaintedhomes.com, and cozy quilts (thank you, mom). 

Remember... we are only here for so long. Nothing is promised here as far as how long we get to be on Planet Earth. Enjoy it. Don't waste precious energy on negativity 24/7 and embrace the beauty around you. 

Again, "I do not want long walks in the rain." Well, ended up I did want them because we had a blast. 

Much love and well wishes...
Until next time, 
M of MK Designs
November 2014